i think i have herpe
just one?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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