This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
