And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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