I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So apparently I’m into choking now
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