the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"