I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You took a bar mat shot.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras