we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.