16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Green mimosas i think yes
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week