I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.