i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
