Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize