3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
