No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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