I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
