I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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