i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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