dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize