I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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