No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
