I hate all girls vehemently.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
my poor anus
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
