JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
