Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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