This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you never un-have a 4some
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
