Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize