you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
