how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
