i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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