Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize