sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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