I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
