Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
