Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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