new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
