I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
