found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
