So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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