So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
