one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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