i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
