How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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