What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
