i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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