I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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