Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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