I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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