Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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