Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
