Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
soo... how was my night?
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