I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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