I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
