when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
