Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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