Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
