Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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