Pregnant stripper...not hot.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
