I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
