Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
