TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
