i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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