I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
