Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
