Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
