We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i think i just lost a toe
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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