I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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