why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
